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by • June 8, 2026 • Opinion, Politics, Weekly ColumnComments (0)83

Graham Platner is a Slimy Oyster, Not a Pearl

Platner’s Scandals Put Democracy at Risk in Existential Election

If Platner is elected, I personally nominate him as most likely to be found with a stove full of cash or caught naked with a Capitol Hill intern in a dusty broom closet. Yet, there is still the slimmest of possibilities that I’m wrong and Platner defies expectations. While there is a 100% certainty that Collins is a two-faced serpent who will nauseatingly express “concern” over Trump’s excesses, while voting for MAGA’s undemocratic, poisonous policies.

Nevertheless, it is unforgivable that populist “progressives” gambled with American democracy by selecting the worst possible candidate. They knew the consequences of having a sleazy, offensive, scandal plagued nominee and blithely chose him anyway.

I hope Graham P’s latest hustle is the last time I’ll be forced to stand by such a manifestly unfit candidate. If progressive populists continue swimming in this stinky cesspool, it’s a one-way ticket to wrecking the Democratic Party, and by extension destroying the country.

I’ve been a Democrat since 1988. But, if Graham Platner is the Party’s future, I’m out. Never had I previously thought of registering as an Independent, but if this is the slop Democrats are offering—an “I” on my voting registration is suddenly looking plausible.

I’ve watched this movie before, and it doesn’t end well. Beginning in 1979, Ronald Reagan embraced the Religious Right. This mistake morphed into Newt Gingrich’s Contract with America, which then became the Tea Party, which led to MAGA. Each step along this perilous path, mainstream Republicans held their noses and pulled the lever for increasingly unacceptable and extreme candidates. Every moral compromise led to more ethical collapses—until we got to January 6 and Trump’s subsequent reelection.

The Democrats are today standing at the equivalent of 1980. How far down this sickening abyss are we willing to go? The answer begins in Maine on Tuesday.

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